Confesions of the Alter Ego

Its been a while since I’ve exposed myself from the other side of the coin. I am willing to open up myself tothis vulnerability and let my words be tested in fire.

I’ve been raised in a humble household back in our place in the province. Our house was built on the windy side of the mountain. Everythime we wash our cles, the coldnessso fthe water bites our hand like a snake almost freezing our hands. And after we hang our clothes to dry the winds would scatter it again in no time. I was sichkkly boy then always getting colds always getting in anad out of the hospital. I susupected that it is the cold weather in our place. Sometimes I wish the sun always shines and no clouds would cover it, sometimes I daydream living in Africa why? Beacause it always sunny out there compared to our pplace.

I remember back when I was younger, enthusiastic about life, doing what I love to do playing outside all day long, eating what I like and saying what I want. Then one time I’ve made a mistake , my dad once kick me out and left outside to cry, theres a time they susupect my sisiter and I for stealing the money and it finding out at last that it was just misplaced. By the time my parents teach me the word discipline slowly I am developing to this anxious, assertive, and obedient kid. I seldom lay outside and watch televition instead, eating what only is proper and always thinking the words that come out from my mouth.

What you may see right ow can be a calm and collective personbut ypu don’t know what the delimas I’ve been through, I have always been drowned with confusion and bewilderment. every choise ther is an allotted consequence, if you have choosen the right thingyoure safe, if you don’t be ready for the punishment. I am now on thelast semester beforemajoring in what I’ve choosen for though m still thingking about changing my career path. If only granted few incheds added t omy stature I should have joined the military, and theres a time that I’ve been pondering switching to natural scinces.

Looking at the surface, people say that I’m unemotional, static, inattentive, or just plain cold. But diving deeper, I am in fact sensitive to subtle emotions but why am I so unresponsive? Because there’s too much emotional burden, there are powerful emotions that I just cannot handle making it for me to supress the emotions more.

I always had been contended through life regardless of dreaded circumstances that will take place in the near future. I always find death and decay fascinating. Its’ as the dame beauty as life itself and in the fact that there are always extremes at the ends of the pole, what I will do is just to work out the balancing act of life.


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